Dating, in general, has its challenges, but dating in December comes with a little added awesomeness and anxiety. The magic of Christmastime can add an element of splendor to your dating life, but many are feeling more like they’re being crushed under the weight of a reindeer’s hooves with all the added holiday pressure the season brings. Here is my take on some of the most frequently asked questions during the Holidate Season:

Should I buy my boyfriend/girlfriend a gift for Christmas? If so, what should I get?

I’m not a big “stuff” person so my suggestion is to make a memory for the holiday instead of buying an item. If you can spend a little money and buy tickets to a show, concert, or game or event that you would both enjoy, then the memories you make will last longer than any store-bought item, and also the time spent together will strengthen your bond as a couple.

If you’re super frugal like me and prefer a price tag of free-ninety-nine, then I suggest going to your town’s holiday light display and taking some nice couple-photos and get some hot chocolate and enjoy the lights. You could even enlist a buddy to act as a photographer. (Hint – then use these photos for next year’s gift and make a personalized photo calendar! #winning)

Should I invite my boyfriend/girlfriend home for the holidays?

Too be honest, there is no “right” time to bring your partner home for the holidays. If you’re not ready, then don’t. But, be prepared for them not to invite you either. That’s perfectly fine. You may have to be okay spending this Christmas separately, but don’t fret. If you demonstrate confidence in being apart, then when you do reconnect you’ll have a blast swapping holiday stories.

If you are wanting to invite them home, then make the invitation more about the occasion and not a milestone in your relationship. For more tips on how to have this conversation, I dedicated a whole video to it. Check it out here How to Invite Your New Boyfriend Home for the Holidays.

What is “Scrooging”? (aka Holiday Breakers)

Scrooging, or as I have termed it for years “the Holiday Breaker” is the phenomenon where people deliberately break up with someone right before the holidays to avoid buying gifts or attending holiday social functions as a couple.

I believe there is a special place in hell for these cowardly folks. It is cruel and unnecessary to end a relationship for such petty reasons. Especially if you follow my advice on the two previous questions. Don’t be a Holiday Breaker. Scrooging is cruel and payback is a B!

How do I spend Christmas alone?

Many of us aren’t able to go home for the holidays and some of us aren’t close with our families, so the holiday season can be particularly challenging. If you’re going to be flying solo this Christmas, you do NOT have to feel lonely. My advice is to plan your day as you would any other and fill your time with things you enjoy.

Create your own tradition. For the past few years, I’ve been alone on Christmas and I’ve gotten to quite enjoy it. My tradition is simple yet, I love it. I make my “famous” Christmas Shrimp Fettuccini and watch all my favorite Christmas movies: “A Christmas Carol” (the 1984 scary one), “The Holiday” (Jude Law is delish!) and I always end the night with dessert, hot cocoa and watch my all-time fave – “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”

Yes, it’s simple but it’s cozy and it’s something I can continue should I have a special someone next year. If you don’t want to be by yourself, consider giving your time to someone else. Volunteering is always good for the soul. ‘Tis the season of giving, after all.

BONUS: Lindsey, why don’t you date during December?

It’s not that I have some hard-fast rule about dating in December, but in general, if I’m not already seeing someone by Thanksgiving, I tend to take a break from dating. Because there is so much going on during the holiday season and people are super busy, travel plans are crazy and it’s hard to nail people down to start a new dating scenario.

I don’t avoid dating, but I don’t actively pursue it during this time. I use this time as period of reflection, and realigning with my values. I take stock of how my dating life has been thus far this year and take time to reaffirm my standards and what I’m looking for in someone.

I usually start dating again around St. Patrick’s Day when most of the holiday obligation and pressure is out of the way. That being said, if I happened to meet a lovely man at a Christmas party or even New Years, I would definitely give it a go.

I share all this to say…

it’s okay to take a breather from dating during the holidays. Focus on family and friends and refresh your game for the New Year!

There you have it, some frequently asked questions all about Dating in December. Keep in mind, the holidays are a joyous time – no need to over-complicate and add pressure to your dating life. Follow these tips and have a chill Holidate Season!

Don’t forget to check out the Truthatude Episode Dating in December: Dating Advice for the Holiday Season. Reduce Holiday Relationship Stress